Hey there, friends!
I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and have come to realize that validation, or lack thereof, was taking a toll on me. According to one definition on merriam-webster.com, validation means “to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of”. And so, we can say that to be validated means to receive recognition, to feel worthy, and to be seen as legitimate.
Are you feeling recognized, worthy, and legit? Or are you also needing to do some serious soul searching?
Truth be told, I am struggling in those areas. I have been in a funk lately. Granted, there have been some life things going on this past year and those things have undoubtedly impacted me, but I felt there was something more affecting me. I found myself losing my motivation and spark for the very things I had become so passionate about. More so, I began questioning whether or not my sense of purpose, my mission, my efforts were making any difference…any difference at all.
Some might say I was experiencing situational depression. I would agree. But I needed more definitive answers to what I was experiencing. I longed for affirmation, confirmation, and permission to carry on.
Thus began the soul searching. I started to realize something very valuable: the reason I was losing interest and joy in what I believe to be my calling was not because I believed my mission was no longer important, but because I began to rely solely on validation from outside of myself. I began to be fueled only by the recognition of others, while diluting the passion I once felt deep within my soul.
Rather than sharing information and writing content with the hope of serving others, I began looking to others to serve me. I was depending on “Likes”, “Follows”, and “Shares” to validate my worthiness.
I understand that validation and acknowledgement are important. They give us a reason to keep on keepin’ on. Achieving goals and receiving compliments for our hard work is without a doubt fulfilling. The interesting thing is that once we receive that dose of recognition and praise, we quickly find ourselves looking for the next dose. Giving too much power to outside recognition can set us up for defeat in pursuing those things most important to us.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
- A calling, a mission, or a sense of purpose comes from a place deep within our soul and has been placed on our heart for a reason. This can be big or small, from making hand-made gifts to helping others in need to impacting 1,000’s of people with life-changing messages. The common denominator is that callings, missions, and life purposes are meant to serve others, show love to others, and share a piece of ourselves for the greater good. I believe this to be Divine Intervention, a part of God’s Plan.
- These heart tugs happen at all stages of life and seem to change from one chapter to the next. They can be revealed at any age, as age is not a criteria. They aren’t based on our physical or financial capabilities. They are as unique and individual as each of us. They sometimes emerge after difficult experiences, periods of hard times, or even trauma. Sometimes they are quiet and subtle. Other times they are loud and obnoxious. So…listen intently to those tugs and follow your heart. Look to yourself for validation and take action.
- There is no question that being recognized or praised by others for our accomplishments feels good in the moment, but these feelings are usually short-lived. If we are looking to persevere and stay on track, we must own our own sense of self-worth. True, unwavering worthiness must come from within. We must nurture it and protect it. We must hold on tight and not allow anyone or anything to take it away.
- When we do start to feel defeated, unappreciated, or lose our motivation, doing some deep soul searching, asking the right questions, and talking with someone we trust can help in getting back on track or uncovering a change that should be made.
- Lastly, look inwardly to find genuine and lasting validation. Focusing on serving and loving others, not depending on outside acceptance or approval, will open the doors to truly making a difference in someone else’s life. The difference might be big or small, but one thing’s for sure, the impact you make will not depend on “Likes”, “Follows”, or “Shares”.
And so, my friends, listen to your heart. Follow your passion. Focus on serving and loving others. Nurture your own self-worth and know you are making a difference.
Blessings and Carry On,
Debbie
