When is the last time you talked with someone about hope? I don’t remember ever having an in-depth conversation with anyone about hope. The only time I heard it mentioned was in a sermon at church or maybe from something I read. But I didn’t give it much more thought afterwards. I know now that hope was one of those things that I undervalued and took for granted. And I certainly did not actively embrace it . . . until I realized I had lost it.

Those years of living without hope were almost unbearable. They were dark and lonely and confusing. Fear, anxiety, and disbelief controlled my existence. As I shared in My Story, life threw a destructive and debilitating curve ball at me and my family that just about took me down for the count. That was over a decade ago and since then I have learned a lot about hope. Hope has power. Hope is crucial. And hope is a precious gift.

It is my prayer that what I share here helps those who are seeking hope. I know our reasons for losing hope are different. I know we all deal with lost hope differently. I know that our life circumstances and our faith walks are different. I am certainly not here to proclaim a quick “fix” or to provide the answer. What I do offer here is a truthful account of how I moved from hopelessness and despair to embracing and celebrating life again.

Just a reminder that I am not a medical professional, nor did I seek professional help. And to be completely honest with you, I probably should have. This has been a long and difficult journey. There have been many highs and lows and lots of in-betweens. There have been many steps forward only to be followed by countless steps backwards. But . . . my journey has led me to a beautiful place. A place I do not want to leave. A place I want to nurture and protect. I view life through a clearer and brighter lens now. I love bigger. I pray bigger. I hope bigger. I now know where to find hope and what hope promises. I now understand what I must do and not do to keep hope alive. However, I am also keenly aware that I am not immune to losing hope again. Living in hope is an ongoing, every day, commitment. And like most things worth having in life, it requires awareness, focus, and uncompromised consistency. But unlike achieving worldly aspirations, to achieve true, unbreakable, unstoppable hope I had to look to a Source much greater than myself. I am so thankful for where I am now, for what I am learning, and for my God-driven passion to share my story with others.

And so, dear reader, here’s what I’ve learned about hope . . .

I’ll start with life before The Curve Ball hit (refer to My Story). As I think back, it’s safe to say that up until that point, I took hope for granted. Not on purpose, but because I didn’t quite understand what it was, where to find it, or the immense impact it could have on my life. Although I did associate it with my faith, and I believed it was real, I fell short of grasping the full magnitude of hope. And so . . . I kept it tucked away in my back pocket. When life got a little hard or I was facing a difficult situation, I’d pull it out, say some prayers, and then tuck it right back in my pocket. I didn’t yet understand it’s power and I certainly didn’t understand that it must be nurtured. But just as a plant needs the right amounts of sunlight, water, and nourishment, hope must be properly cared for in order for it to survive and thrive.

I now see that for most of life my hope could be compared to the arrival of a newborn infant. Meaning, it had been birthed, and it was made up of the essential components to grow and develop. But unlike the healthy development of a well-fed, cared for baby, my hope was undernourished and neglected. It was not growing. It was not evolving. Therefore, it was not reaching its full potential or purpose.

I also came to realize that my hope was resting on a weak foundation. Again, it was composed of some useful elements; however, these alone were not enough. And sadly, over the years many destructive components infiltrated my hope. These negative forces eventually overpowered my hope, causing it to be unstable and kept it from developing and flourishing. And so, when life threw me an unthinkable, unfathomable, unimaginable curve ball, I was not equipped to handle it.

What about you, dear reader? Can you relate? Are you too longing to understand and embrace hope?

Before we dive in, I must tell you know that there was a period of time when I was not open to nor was I ready to engage with hope. I was in shock and overcome with despair. I existed from day to day on autopilot, just doing what I could do until the next day. I needed time to process what was happening and work through some pretty tough emotions. I share this with you because you might find yourself in a similar place. I understand. As I mentioned above, I did not seek professional help, but please seek help if you know in your heart you need that support. Even though this was a very lonely journey, I was surrounded by loving family and friends, and I never completely gave up on my faith. 

So, what is hope anyway?

There are several definitions of hope. The more secular description likens it to wishful thinking. Webster defines it as a feeling of expectation, or a desire for a certain thing to happen. That type of hope might be enough for some situations, but what about when we are hit with circumstances that completely turn our world upside down and leave us desperately trying to pick up the pieces? For me, wishful thinking just didn’t cut it. I needed more.

But is there more? Yes, there most definitely is. But be warned, dear friends, connecting with this “more” type of hope goes far beyond “hoping” that our wishes come true. It is on a whole different level.

As I’ve mentioned, I am a person of faith. What does that mean? For me, it means a belief in one Holy, Always-Present, All-Powerful, In-control-of-All-Things, All-Loving God. I believe He is the Creator of you and me and all things seen and unseen. I believe that the beautiful and perfect Paradise He created in the beginning was eventually corrupted by man (and woman) as they began testing and abusing His gift of free will. I believe that God then sent His Precious Son here to pay for our sins and to be an example of how we should live. I believe that when I pass from this life, I will spend Eternity with My Lord and Saviour. 

You might completely agree with my above confession of faith. You might have reservations or questions about parts of it. Or you might completely disagree with and debunk the whole thing. No matter where you are at in your own faith journey, it’s fair to ask what faith has to do with connecting to this “more” kind of hope. Simple answer . . . everything. Every. Single. Thing. Without faith there is no crossing over to this higher, this “more”, kind of hope. It is impossible to enter into that level of hope without a faith component. Faith is its foundation. Faith is the key ingredient. Faith is birthed from our relationship with our Creator. Without that relationship our “more” type of hope will simply not exist.